The only good Dr. Pepper comes from Dublin, Texas.

I recently finished up a class with a prof who, basically, SUCKED. Late to classes, late returning papers, didn't respond to emails, and wasn't in her office during her posted office hours. Fine, you say, these things happen. Not every prof will be awesome and I just got a dud this time around.

Well, here's the thing. Classes often started out fine, with coherent lectures and good guidance of class discussion. It was only after the class break that things started to spiral downhill. she nearly always returned from the class break with a large Dr. Pepper, which she sipped during the second half of class. By the end of class she often had drifted completely off topic and the "lecture" was mainly her laughing maniacally at her own jokes.

I and other students have independently noticed that she often smells like alcohol, and other students have seen her clearly intoxicated while doing campus business. Do we, as students, have any moral obligation to report this? And if so, to whom should we speak? These are serious accusations and we don't want to screw ourselves legally-speaking. The prof is a lovely woman, but a terrible teacher and clearly has a drinking problem. We don't want to get her in trouble, we just want to get her out of the classroom and into rehab.


JSGS: This DR is really in a pickle.

AJD: DAAAAAMN. Well, you're Involved In Academia, JSGS, so it is my suggestion that you take the lead on this.

JSGS: Well, I think the student's (and students') concern has probably been noticed by this teacher's other colleagues. People probably know by now. Especially since DR is describing this teacher (henceforth known as Dr. Teacher) showing up half-cocked in very public settings.

AJD: Yes, it doesn't seem like this is a problem resting entirely on our DR.

JSGS: BUT I do think the fact that Dr. Teacher is showing up to classes half-cocked is something her supervisors should probably know. I think the best is this: for DR or one of her cohort to approach a faculty member zie really trusts. And in that meeting (held in a private place like an office) say, I am concerned about Dr. Teacher and I just wanted to make sure people who are in the position to help are doing so, because Dr. Teacher is showing up to class drunk.

AJD: Expressing concern for the well-being of the professor is key.

JSGS: And being specific that this is a problem affecting the student's education is also key. Question for DR: Does Dr. Teacher have tenure? If Dr. Teacher does not, that might change the game a little.

AJD: An excellent question. If Dr. Teacher does, how does that affect the game?

JSGS: Go forward. You can't hurt Dr. Teacher's career. If Dr. Teacher doesn't have tenure, let the colleagues make the decision. You don't want to feel like you hurt someone's career.

AJD: Damn, girl. Have you ever suspected a prof of drunkenness in a classroom situation?

JSGS: Well, everyone suspects profs of something, usually with little evidence. Which isn't to say DR falls under that heading.

JSGS: But which is why DR is right to be cautious. People project all kinds of things onto authority figures all the time, and students are usually pretty loose with malicious gossip.

AJD: You're right to point out that if this is a big enough ish for students to recognize it, chances are very good that people in positions of power have recognized it. The difficult thing here is that DR has to do what DR has to do and then step back and let the higher-ups handle it. And if they don't do a good job, or if it persists, what is DR to do?

JSGS: Excellent complexification.

AJD: I do what I can.

JSGS: Meaning, if her work performance doesn't improve, what does DR do? Perhaps complain in a formal venue after making sure that Dr. Teacher can't punish DR for it. And avoiding Dr. Teacher's classes. Because that is the important fact on which DR's complaint hinges: that work performance is affected. That may be the thing her colleagues don't know. That may propel them to action.

AJD: And thus DR is directly affected.

JSGS: Right. That Dr. T is a drunk and is struggling is sad, to be sure, but it really is consequential here that the teaching quality has nosedived.

AJD: Exactly. 'Cause if it hadn't and DR was just Concerned, I'd tell our beloved DR to mind his/her own business.

JSGS: Right. So proceed with caution, but ask around and see if you can't find out what your department already knows.

AJD: And don't ask her for a swig of her Dr. Pepper.

JSGS: Check and mate.