If it's a bris, all bets are off.

My ex-boyfriend and resident psycho has been invited to an event that I was also invited to. I rsvp'd first and have every intention of going with my friends. He just emailed me to ask me, out of consideration for him, not to attend. I think this is ridiculous but, what should I do?


JSGS: AJD, somehow I feel like you've been in this fix before.

AJD: This situation is not unfamiliar. Yeah, that's right, I employed a double negative. WHAT.

AJD: Anyway, the answer to your query, Dear Reader, is FUCK THAT NOISE. Go. Have fun. Dance your ass off. Don't give your douchetruck ex another thought.

JSGS: DR, you were invited by the host.

AJD: For heaven's sake, you responded first.

JSGS: The host wants you there. if the host also has the poor taste to invite the psycho, that's zie's problem, not yours.

Unless it's the ex's nephew's bris*.

In that case you should back off.

AJD: A good point. Anything else, though? Fair game. Your game, even. You scored first.

JSGS: ACTION STEP: Email The Ex back. Say that the host(ess) invited you both, that you're both adults, and that you hope you can attend while treating each other courteously.

AJD: Keep it short & sweet. One to two sentences.

I have a post-it note on my desk that reads BE THE BIGGER PERSON. My therapist said it's okay to make one that says BE THE BETTER PERSON. She's smart.

Anyway, that's what this scenario is all about. Be the bigger person, the better person, the kinder person. Be the civil-er person (I KNOW THAT ISN'T A WORD). Take the high road. Etc. But don't let this nutbag keep you from going to an event you will enjoy.

JSGS: And probably also plan to look 100% more fly than usual. No one said the BETTER PERSON had to be the dumpier person.

AJD: Duh squared. Be the hotter person. Be the happier and better-adjusted person.

Just be yourself.

DO YOU**.



* Ritual circumcision of male Jewish infants.
** Mad props to Russell Simmons for this phrase, even if it did take some of us awhile to accept its legitamacy as a command and not a question. Mad props.